Time & Karma

I am going to share an experience today. This incident actually happened with a very close friend of mine.

We are office friends and share our daily routines, fights with hubby, share our kids activities with each other, daily lunch in office,  family stories and all. On a project she got an opportunity to go onsite to a client’s location and work there for 2-3 months. She went and came back and suddenly her attitude changed. With me and with everyone around us. I also saw this change and saw that she is being very arrogant. She started avoiding me saying she has work she has a lot to handle in the team. She stopped talking to me. She stopped picking my calls saying i am busy you go ahead for lunch alone. I felt bad. But then her work got less, she called me and said you are behaving like this with me. You stopped talking to me and started crying. I felt sooo weird and so bad that she is blaming me for her behavior. But then i became normal with her. As she got time she used to talk and i started being normal. Being friends for long, i too had expectations from her but then i realized she talks to me only when she is in need. OK no issues, i thought its fine. Then again she got a chance to go onsite and work with client, and in that time she just got to know she is pregnant with her second baby. She went and had to come back early from there as she was not feeling well and started getting some health issues. Same happened daily, we used to meet and discuss the “soon to come” baby.. I remember her words clearly, she used to say i do not think i will love this newborn as much as i  love my first child. I used to tell her that you are wrong. Her attitude was again arrogant and her team members stopped talking to her because of this attitude and arrogant attitude. She used to show the “being rich” attitude and even i drifted away from her because this was making me negative. But then suddenly, she got some complications and doctor told her bed rest. I was in touch with her throughout this period, then she delivered baby in 7th month, baby was not well, on a ventilator he was. Baby struggled for 3 months and then left this world. I was in constant touch with her throughout and visited her home many times to comfort her. She just joined office two days back. I understand that she is being broken from inside, and she needs me at this time. I was with her whole day in office but i also can not do this daily. Since i have my projects and have work to handle as well my family my kid everything. She is expecting me to be with her whole day but this is not possible.  I am doing how much ever is possible. But deep down i always have in my mind, that how she used to behave with me. How she used to avoid me and ignore me. I think to myself and i have learnt, that we should not change during our good times. Because time is not always the same. I see her talking to those people now and seeking their support, whom she has thrashed in front of managers and even got some of them out of the projects. And those people are not showing their support now. I feel bad for her.

I learnt today, that even in our best times we should treat everyone well.

I am always there for her and will support her.  And i hope she come out of this situation and become strong and God Bless her and her family always.

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Going Extra Mile

So i found this pic on internet, and i think to myself- “Whoever has taken this pic, mom or dad has managed to go extra mile and took this beautiful pic.”

Me as a mother do not even manage to do basic things and how in the world people get such creative ideas.

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Starting My Online business

I have decided to start with the business of selling jewelry. Took the first step towards it.

I am suddenly feeling motivated and i am going to work towards setting up my business successfully and increasing it with time.

I am not liking my IT job, every day I think of leaving my job. Even after spending my 10 years in IT i think i do not belong here! But it is my source of income and It makes me feel i am independent.

Anyone out here is also in same boat ? Like doing something daily what they do not like but yet pushing themselves, just because they have to? 

 

The Butterfly Wish

Anyone who will be reading this must be thinking what is this blog name “The Butterfly Wish”.

 Butterfly flies freely anywhere as per her wish. She can go to any flower she likes, can sit there for as long as she wants. It is so difficult to get hold of her. She flies and flies.

 My wish is to become like a butterfly. I feel I am trapped into this body, into this culture, into this society, into this job, into this family life. Whatever i had thought of doing in my life, i never did. I always did what is right as per my parents, as per my age, as per what I should do as a daughter, as a wife and as a mother.

After my school, I thought i will do some course in animation and do interesting things. Father said you should go for engineering. Animation course you can do side by side at any point of life. I am 32 now and i still have not learnt animation.

A whole lot of thinking I do..  i see people’s facebook posts, instagram posts, snapchat posts and my mind thinks i should also do this. I am in my IT Job for past 10 years and i have not learnt anything . Now i want to quit this job. But i do not know what i should do if i am not doing this IT job. I feel i am like a useless person who has no direction in life. My interest changes every hour every minute. I see people doing something and i think i should do this. And motivation starts and goes up and comes down.. and bammmm.. i am on the zero level again..

Let me count actually what all I thought since morning i should be doing

  1. should switch job
  2. should sell jewelry online
  3. should start making jewelry myself
  4. should learn creative writing
  5. should learn something in cooking
  6. should start selling make up products
  7. should become an influencer

And finally I thought i should start my own blog and write whatever i want to.

This butterfly wishes to get some direction and do some thing meaningful in her life to satisfy no one but herself. I hope 2018 is the year where I do at least 1 single thing which i absolutely love.